You are not alone

I was thinking why I like this song. I find it comforting. Why? It is always good to know that you're not alone.  When I first started searching the internet I came across a lot that was, to say the  least, discouraging. It really is a jungle out there (with a lot of crazy people). Luckily, I also found very good and inspiring blogs, blogs that are writing about things in a way that I can relate to. Reading the stories of others has certainly helped and inspired me to continue on my own path, doing what I feel is right. I hope I can help others too by sharing my story and posting helpful resources on this blog :-).

R.E.M - Everybody Hurts

When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no

Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
You are not alone

Do you feel anxious and tense or totally stressed out...

When you are experiencing so much trouble with in-laws this can really stress you out. It can cause so much tension that you don't know how to deal with it anymore. One thing I found really helpful was listening to hypnosis mp3's, for relaxation, reducing stress, and much more. I found a website where there is a wide range of topics available for download, so I'm sure there is one for you too. There is even a download specifically dealing with in-law problems!

Have a look here: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/

If you have decided to download one of these mp3's and it has helped you, please let me know.

Although I was skeptic, these downloads have been of great help for me in times of extreme tension. I now consider this as a very helpful and healthy resource, so I wanted to share this with you.

Quotes I like

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http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.nl/search/label/Red%20flags%20of%20Narcissism From Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

'The last of my words will be addressed to those heroes who might still be hidden in the world, those who are held prisoner, not by their evasions, but by their virtues and their desperate courage. My brothers in spirit, check on your virtues and on the nature of the enemies you're serving. Your destroyers hold you by means of your endurance, your generosity, your innocence, your love --the endurance that carries their burdens-- the generosity that responds to their cries of despair--the innocence that is unable to conceive of their evil and gives them the benefit of every doubt, refusing to condemn them without understanding and incapable of understanding such motives as theirs...life is the object of their hatred. Leave them to the death they worship...don't exhaust the greatness of your soul on achieving the triumph of the evil of theirs... 
...to win requires your total dedication and a total break with the world of your past, with the doctrine that man is a sacrificial animal who exists for the pleasure of others. Fight for the value of your person...'.
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http://narcissistschild.blogspot.ca The ABC of Boundaries: Keeping the Narcissists at Bay.  Quoting Sweet Violet:

' Now, some NMs are crafty little weasels....'.
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Never underestimate the power of denial.
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http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.ca/2006/11/is-there-good-in-everyone.html Sibling Survivor said:

'I agree that if you have to go looking for the good in a person it isn't there. It's like assuming that somewhere in the dark there must be a light. Never mind the fact that in the dark you would be able to see the light easily, so if you don't see it, it doesn't exist.'
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http://galewarnings.blogspot.nl/2007_02_17_archive.html Quoting Stormchild:

'Emotional abusers behave in similarly patterned ways - ruin the holiday; ruin the birthday; spoil the accomplishment; demand all the attention at the wedding/ the funeral/the bar mitsvah.

If you learn to see the patterns, you will learn to see the abuse. If you see the abuse, you see the abuser. Once you see the abuse and the abuser, you will find that you can actually predict how the abuser will behave; once their behavior becomes predictable, you feel less helpless, have more of an opportunity to control your responses, and can then become free.

It can be done'.

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Chinese proverb:

'The beginning of wisdom is calling things by their right names'.

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Barbara Bloom:

'When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful'.

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Japanese proverb:

'Forgiving the unrepentant is like drawing pictures on water.'
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Albert Einstein:

'The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people that don't do anything about it.'


'Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.'

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(additions will follow)

Always on the run?

Always on the run

'my mama said
that your life is a gift
and my mama said
there's much weight you will lift
and my mama said
leave those bad boys alone
and my mama said
be home before the dawn
and my mama said
you can be rich or poor
but my mama said
you can be big or small

but i'm always on the run

my mama said
that it's good to be truthful
but my mama said
don't take more than a mouthful
and my mama said
that it's good to be natural
and my mama said
that it's good to be factual

but i'm always on the run

my mama said
baby don't ride that crazy horse
and my mama said
you must push with much force
and my mama said
go get all that your after
and my mama said
that love's all that matters

but i'm always on the run'

Lenny Kravitz

Introduction

I chose 'It's my life' as the title of my blog because it is MY life, not theirs, I cannot let sick people waste my time, take away the joy in my life or that of my children.

I want this blog to be a place for support, comfort and healing for people who are dealing with narcissists. I have had to deal with a malignant narcissistic mother in-law for about 15 years now. Her behaviour has bewildered, frustrated, angered and frightened me. I am someone who doesn't want to cave in and accept that it is as it is. I am on a journey to make my world a better place and if I can help others on my way that would be a big plus. In my belief system we are here on this earth to grow, to learn and to help each other. Being honest with myself and others is one of the key foundations of how I live. I have found that there are a great many people that don't share this opinion. Never mind them. To those who are on a journey to enjoy this life, please share with me your experiences, your struggles and your knowledge. If you want to help others to know that they are not alone in their struggles with narcissists please post here. I want to create a place from where you can progress. I would like to help spread the word, share my story, and this way possibly speed up the process for other people dealing with narcissists or at least help them feel less lonely. Monsters live and thrive in the dark and that's why they need to be exposed. Let's shine a light! Take care of yourself!