I've been reading many blogs the past few months and one of the best I came across is this one:
http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2008/06/best-of-posts-on-narcissists-suck.html
If you're dealing with narcissists in your life, here's invaluable information, clearly written and lots of insight. Very, very good!! (Wish I would have come across this blog years ago). Reading this blog you will learn a lot on what exactly constitutes emotional abuse.
I wanted to share this resource with you.
Take care of yourself!
PS-
ReplyDeleteJust clicked into the narcissists suck blogspot and read the post titled Two Models of Family.
I think that post sums up what we are dealing with here. You and I expect to live in the type of family that the post describes as the "healthy family" which is love-based and freedom-based; yet, MIL expects to live in the type of family the post refers to as the 'mob family'. The 'mob family' is control-based, loyalty-based, and has one dictator at the helm, usually a FIL or MIL I love that post-- it is so very insightful.
PPS-
ReplyDeleteOne other note. I come from a family of origin that runs of the love-based and freedom-based model. DH comes from a family that runs on the control-model.
My FIL has said many times there are cultural differences and that is true. However, he is not justified in using cultural differences as the way to explain away MIL's bad behavior.
Though both me and my husband are caucasian, he was born behind the iron curtain and they move to the US when he was a small child. They came here under political asylum and were granted citizenship. While his mom acts in ways that are actually characteristic of a fascist regime, that attitude does not fly in the US.
Yes that's a very good post and exemplifies how my MIL thinks, like a mobster ('the godmother'), spot on. It is a kind of criminal thinking.
ReplyDeleteIs that how your FIL excuses the behaviour of his wife? My FIL says thinks like, 'that's the way it is supposed to be' (e.g. when MIL is giving insolicited advice). No, it is not... She is just a terrible nag, and that is least of her faults. The criminal minded intrigue is far worse.