Dealing with narcissistic and/or sociopathic mother in-laws? Here's a way to gain some insight!

If you are dealing with narcissistic in-laws this will be interesting to read. The book 'The sociopath next door' by Martha Stout describes sociopaths, of the sort that live next door. The sociopaths you're dealing with in your life (in-laws, family, job, school, neighbors), not the ones 'starring' in a movie. The ones you can not quite put your finger on, but you know something is very wrong. This book is very well written, funny and entertaining and puts into words what you cannot, so next time you won't doubt yourself when you encounter the 'average' sociopath :-). This book gives guidance on how to deal effectively with sociopaths, something everyone should know and which should be part of your everyday tool-kit. Apart from that it is a highly entertaining read!

Here's the link to this must read:



And here's a review from amazon:

"I've written many five-star reviews, but never have I been so motivated to try to convince everyone to read the book. Here's why: one in twenty-five Americans is a sociopath, a figure psychologist Martha Stout obtained from three journal articles and a U.S. government source. Assuming this premise of The Sociopath Next Door is correct, or even if the figure is say one in 50, odds are you know at least one sociopath. He or she could be an abusive partner, the person in the next cubicle at work, your landlord, or the person your teenager is dating. Even if you can't think of sociopath you know, you have high odds of encountering one. Given the havoc even one sociopath can wreak in one's life, this book provides a sort of insurance that you'll be able to identify him or her and deal with that person so they don't harm you emotionally, financially, or in any other way. This is a well-written and well-researched book that I think will benefit the 96% of you who are not sociopaths.

To gain the benefits of "sociopath insurance" there are three portions of the book I believe are crucial for you to read: (1) the discussion of what is a sociopath along with her stories illustrating the different types of sociopaths, (BTW, those stories would make fine literary short stories with Stout's descriptive language and suspense building.) (2) Stout's "Thirteen Rules For Dealing With Sociopaths in Everyday Life", and (3) the discussion of how good people with consciences end up allowing sociopathic leaders to rise to power and do horrific acts. If you read just these sections and skip all the philosophical discussions about sociopaths, you will still gain a lot from this book."

Self-love is the key!: Anita Moorjani - Dying to be me

A very inspirational story. Love this talk by Anita Moorjani. She talks about wellness awareness. Fear versus love. The importance of focusing your awareness on the positive side. The importance of humour, laughter and joy. And all starts with self love. Enjoy !



I have included a link for Anita Moorjani's book, 'Dying to be me':



Another very interesting book about a near death experience (NDE) is Eben Alexander's book, 'Proof of heaven'. I grew up agnostic, after my mother's death and the death of a dear friend I read this book. It convinced me that there is much more to this life experience than we can understand and that death is not the end.

Shifting from defensive power to non-defensive power

I heard a few times that I responded defensively which was logical since I was attacked but this was not leading to any improvement for myself or the situation I'm in. I knew I had to work on this and find a solution to overstep the defensiveness and communicate in another way without feeling I had to resort to one of the other inadequate ways of coping such as appeasing, ignoring, forgiving etc.. I also knew that it was really important for myself to set healthy boundaries, but the 'how to' was something I could really use some sound help with because I want it to be constructive and helpful for the long term.

When I searched for non-defensive communication I came across the website of Sharon Strand Ellison: Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication Powerful Non-Defensive Communication

It was really interesting to read and I decided to order her book: 'Taking the war out of the words' (Table of contents). I'm really excited to start reading the book as soon as I receive it. From all the reviews I read and the information on the website it sounds as a really useful book with lots of examples. And I need examples!

In the meantime I have read the book and it is a great guide to non-defensive communication, if you find that you're defending yourself a lot when communicating with others and don't know how to break this cycle, here's you're guide!



Want to get an idea of the non-defensive communication style? In the following videos Sharon Ellison explains shifting from defensive power to non-defensive power:



Making powerful statements without having to convince anyone to agree:



Setting limits that work:



Check youtube for her other videos.